Sho Me Shamo ? Is this Casteshano ?

Something funny happens when you cross the Tropic of Capricorn, heading deeper South in South America. The people start talking funny. It's still the Spanish language, but not quite that same recognizable version found in the rest of the Hispanophone world. Is it some rare regional lisp ? Nah. An epidemic of Foreign Accent Syndrome seems even more unlikely. But there's definitely something odd going on here.

To make this speech impediment, or rather, understanding impediment more understandable for Anglophone readers, I'll have to graft it onto some somewhat-forced, somewhat-phonetic English speech.

"It was Shuletide in Wyshoming in the shear 2013. The shung shankee with a black and white shin-shang on his t-shirt looked at the canshun and shearned to go climbing up the shellow walls. Another shouth, a classmate from Shale, was finishing his dish of shucca and shellow shokes. He stood and shelled, 'This food is shucky !' The first shungster responded, 'Shou're crazy, I thought it was was shummy. If shou'd rather some shoghurt, I have some in my shellow bag.'"

You'd be forgiven if you were imaging Southern South America populated by legions of mischievous short-tempered ducks in sailor suits. But unlike Pato Donald's famous buccal speech, the Spanish of Argentina and Uruguay is characterized phonologically by yeismo (known locally as sheismo). Like the gibberish languages Pig Latin, Ub, and Snoop Dogg's "-Izzle" slang, Argentine Spanish can be at times unintelligible until the listener becomes accustomed to the new phonetic system.

Resolutions : A month without...

Inspired by two Peace Corps volunteers we met in Paraguay (Thanks Nalena and Jon !), Pauline and I have decided to make a New Year's resolution, or rather several, that will hopefully last all year long. The idea is to slightly change our diets each month of the year, usually by eliminating one element. In that way, we can see how that particular food affects us, if at all. And for less-healthy "foods" such as sugar, salt, and alcohol, this temporary diet should help us to bring our consumption down to appropriate levels. One other goal is to experience what other people go through due to their allergies (gluten), intolerance (lactose), and certain chosen diets (raw, vegan).

Too much cheese here for January.

So for this month, Pauline and I will be eschewing cheeses. Normally this would be near impossible for us if we were in Europe or North America. In Cambodia, however, it should make for an easy beginning to our Resolution.

Too much caffeine here for February.

During the short month of February, we shall consume no caffeine. So no coffee, no green or black tea, no mate. No Swedish negerbollar. No Italian tiramisu.

No lemon tarts in March.

March : Added sugars and sweeteners are out. Fruit is okay, but sugar, molasses, honey, maple syrup, high fructose corn syrup, artificial sweeteners, and any processed food with any added sweeteners are to be excluded.

April is alcohol-free.

Dairy, sugar, eggs, gluten... I won't
get many pancakes this year.

May : After surviving January's cheeseless month, we'll go up a notch to no dairy at all. A whole month without ice cream, yoghurt, cheese, milk, and butter...

Eggs are out in June. No omelettes, quiches, most baked goods...

July : No white flour or derived products (pancakes, bread, cakes).

During the month of August, we'll be developing a temporary celiac disease and be avoiding all gluten. It should be a good time to learn some quinoa recipes.

September : salt, soy sauce, and sodium are out.

Fried plantains ? Not in October.

October will involve more of a judgement call. We're saying no fried foods, but the idea is generally no deep-fried or oil-fried / pan-fried foods. Uncooked oils (olive oil on salad) and butter will probably be okay.

November should prove to be the toughest month of the year. We shan't be eating anything cooked. Raw fruits and raw veggies.

And to finish out the year, we're going to spend a month vegan. We're already vegetarians, so that final step won't be too much of a jump. The changes we'll have to make include excluding honey, dairy, and eggs...a bit like months March, May, and June put together.






So you may ask how we'll manage with the holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas. And what about all of those must-try local specialities in Asia ? Well, we're always going to be free to try something forbidden for that month or take a day off for a holiday... but we'll have to add on three more days at the beginning of the following month to make up.

Anyone want to join us ?

Raggedy Bill

In South America, generally speaking, the people don't seem to have much confidence in their money. Any minor tear or scribble is enough for a bill to be rejected. Any travelers who have tried to exchange dollars for pesos or soles or bolivianos has probably, frustratingly, had their less-than-crispy dollars refused and returned. This seemingly means that locals are losing money all the time. Any unintentional rip when pulling a bill out your wallet could cost you money - 'Cause nobody's gonna accept it. I've read that it's possible to exchange tattered bills for crispy ones in some banks, but it this were so, people would be more likely to accept those mangled bills.

Then we came to Argentina, where I saw the most deplorable notes in this hemisphere. They didn't even care what they looked like. Shopworn. Shabby. Rugged. Ripped. Tattered. Taped. Notched and neglected. No problem. Now that was some real faith in currency. But this was nothing compared to the neighboring Paraguayans. Those crazy jokers would rip their money, any money, in half, and never lose their faith.